Some trying times

Sticking out her tongue.

Crying.

Ciara is having a hard day today. Believe it or not she weighed in at 2 lbs this morning! I have a feeling a lot of that is fluid. She had to be intubated again yesterday. She was having a hard time breathing on the CPAP machine so they tried her on a Sigh Pap machine. Which is just like the CPAP only she got 20 extra breaths per minute. She still showed that she was tired so the doctor decided she needed to go on the ventilator. She will probably remain on until Monday and then they will put her back on CPAP. They have stopped her feedings because they believe she has an infection. She was put on antibiotics this morning and started on albuterol treatments. She was wide awake for our visit this evening. The nurse told me that she doesn't know she's not getting fed, but I think she knows. Every time I put my hand in the incubator she tried to put it in her mouth and she just sucked and sucked on her binkie. As a mother I think she is hungry. Hopefully she will show some signs of improvement and they can start the breast milk again. Please pray extra hard for her tonight. It is definitely starting to get to me that I can't hold her or be near her. The doctor told me not to come up everyday that I will burn myself out, but I can't stand to be away from her. I don't spend all day up here, I only stay a couple of hours. But he is still worried I am doing too much. I keep telling Corey (because he agrees with staying away) he is not a mother and it's hard for men to understand wanting to be with your baby all the time. I miss her when I am not here, but I miss her when I am here too.